TBTL (Too Beautiful to Live) is a daily weekday podcast from Luke Burbank and co-host/producer Andrew Walsh. It is about life, current events, popular culture, puttering, serial boat ownership, and night pants. Hotline: (206) 414-8285


Episode #2150: Who Kicked The Cat Out? (Who?) (Who?)

June 27, 2016 · Duration: 1:05:49 · Play

Luke is having a masonry emergency. Andrew is trying to solve a kitty litter mystery. President George H.W. Bush is not backing down from a broccoli-loving kindergartner. And a cat name Browser is looking for work.

Episode #2149: Brexit of Champions

June 24, 2016 · Duration: 1:24:19 · Play

Phyllis “The Fletch” Fletcher joins the show, and Andrew shows her how to make a Bloody Mary (which is technically a Bloody Caesar.) Plus, a certain news helicopter makes headlines at a certain boat race in Port Townsend. And we check out some Music For Your Weekend!

Episode #2148: Grande Is The Loneliest Number

June 23, 2016 · Duration: 1:08:27 · Play

Luke is in the middle of a grand adventure involving seaplanes, helicopters and watercraft of all kinds. He and Andrew discuss proper handshake technique, dubious coffee lawsuits, and a new TBTL rule.

Episode #2147: Blandcestry.com And Snapchat Judgement

June 22, 2016 · Duration: 1:13:10 · Play

Luke forces Andrew to quiz him about a famous comedian. No one wins. Plus, Luke’s adventures in pouring concrete (or is it cement?), a teenager has a scary-yet-hilarious emergency, and a listener wants to know how to talk to her new family about politics.

Episode #2146: Your Usually Scheduled Salad

June 21, 2016 · Duration: 2:06:17 · Play

A meat situation at the grocery store leaves Luke temporarily catatonic. Andrew coins a new phrase that will never take off. And a new study from Ikea says most people don’t consider their home to be the place where they live. Plus, catharsis reigns in this week’s Song of Ice and Spoilers.

Episode #2145: Wristy Business

June 20, 2016 · Duration: 1:24:29 · Play

Luke and Andrew celebrate Cleveland’s historic victory in game 7 of the NBA finals. Plus, they dig into the new, epic O.J. Simpson documentary, and listeners weigh-in on Andrew’s picky eating.

Episode #2144: Glasses Off, Hair Whatever

June 17, 2016 · Duration: 1:30:46 · Play

Andrew’s new drivers license photo is disquieting, as is a scene Luke recently witnessed in the airport. Plus: PodDog decides to try her hand at social media, a Canadian woman pits a bear against a wolf to save her own life, and Andrew gets his first taste of the Forensic Files.

Episode #2143: Fake Trucks And Real Dirt

June 16, 2016 · Duration: 1:15:14 · Play

Luke tries to help Andrew with his anxiety over dinner parties, and Andrew tries to help Luke with his anxiety over construction workers at Burbank Springs. Plus, LASER HATS.

Episode #2142: Words Of Bizdom

June 15, 2016 · Duration: 1:34:16 · Play

Luke and Andrew discuss the merits of one of the most maligned vegetables on the market. Plus, Smash Mouth takes on the haters. And Luke’s got them old Mariners blues again.

Episode #2141: Let The Freon Market Decide

June 14, 2016 · Duration: 1:34:53 · Play

Luke and Andrew (AKA “Grover Walshquist”) discuss Saturday’s live show in St. Paul and the viking funeral they attended in the parking lot of the American Legion. Plus, the internet says Steph Curry’s new shoes are not as fire as he thinks they are, Luke decries the state of modern air conditioning, and Andrew almost remembers what happened in this week’s Game of Thrones.

Episode #2140: This American Legion

June 13, 2016 · Duration: 1:52:17 · Play

TBTL live from American Legion Hall 577 in St. Paul, Minnesota! Special guests join Luke, Andrew and the StuBot for a very memorable night of podcarting. Plus, we reveal the secret behind one of the TBTL’s biggest mysteries.

Episode #2137: There Will Be LARPing

June 8, 2016 · Duration: 1:10:59 · Play

Luke and Andrew employ a Jeff Foxworthy-esque approach in asking folks to donate to the TBTL-a-Thon, but it’s not as bad as it sounds. Plus, Axl Rose is suing to get unflattering photos off the internet, and Andrew unveils the roadtrip mixtape he made for the drive to St. Paul this weekend.

Episode #2136: Get Your Mind In The Gutter

June 7, 2016 · Duration: 1:14:49 · Play

On day two of the 2016 TBTL-a-Thon, Andrew and Luke try (and fail) to use simple rhyme schemes to get you to donate to the show. Plus, Luke gets kicked out of a house of worship, a musical robot drops its first single, and a man gets banned for trying to trick a GPS app. And a Song of Ice and Spoilers returns with some hot takes about this week’s Game of Thrones episode.

Episode #2135: Three Chins And A Little Lady

June 6, 2016 · Duration: 1:30:43 · Play

TBTL-a-Thon 2016 begins! Luke and Andrew make their best arguments for why listeners should continue to keep this podcast afloat. Then they discuss Andrew’s adventures in babysitting over the weekend and why Luke waited 4 hours for 10 seconds of television.

Episode #2134: Judge, Judy, And Executioner

June 3, 2016 · Duration: 1:09:22 · Play

Luke and Andrew discuss the Mariner’s historic game yesterday and why Luke will someday send a lovey-dovey text to Andrew. Also: A Japanese couple tried to punish their child, but lost him in the woods instead. And is tronc here to stay?

Episode #2133: World’s Best Chuffenator

June 2, 2016 · Duration: 1:06:13 · Play

Daytime Emmy Award-winning host Luke Burbank just found out what it’ll take to get his own Emmy trophy, and now he’s on the fence about ordering it. Meanwhile, his bitter, awardless co-host Andrew tries to explain his own bad attitude towards award ceremonies. Plus, the Real World is coming back to Seattle. What does this mean for Luke and Andrew?

Episode #2132: Rube Goldburbank Machine

June 1, 2016 · Duration: 1:31:45 · Play

Luke and Andrew finally answer the question, “what is art?” After that, they tackle other pressing issues, like “why is Bugs Meany interested in an egg spinning contest?” and “does Sun Country Airlines really give away free hot dogs?” Oh, and, uh, LUKE WON AN EMMY! But it’s no big deal.

Episode #2131: A Shot Glass Of Confusion

May 31, 2016 · Duration: 1:53:23 · Play

Luke helps settle (or adds fire to) an ongoing argument between Andrew and his girlfriend. They discuss in great detail the definition of a “chip” vs a “snack food”, and Luke talks about the time he once ate a sausage on the floor. Plus, summer skin care tips and A Song of Ice and Spoilers.

Episode #2129: Feldenkrais And Gesellschaft Are Dead

May 27, 2016 · Duration: 1:14:43 · Play

Luke accidentally sleeps for 14 hours and almost misses TBTL. As a result, Andrew takes him to Dream Court. Plus, can Andrew spell this year’s winning Spelling Bee words? Probably not. And it’s a Friday, so we have some Music For Your Weekend!

Episode #2128: The War Of Louis Aggression

May 26, 2016 · Duration: 1:20:48 · Play

Luke and Andrew discuss a billionaire’s secret legal campaign against Gawker Media. Plus, Johnny Depp and an Australian politician continue their war of words. And Luke has a new hero in his own war against his backyard moles.

Episode #2127: Water Logginsed

May 25, 2016 · Duration: 1:18:35 · Play

A conversation about flight attendants leads Luke and Andrew to appreciate the works of Kenny Loggins. Also, Andrew may be surrounded by ghosts. And Luke is reunited with some long-lost radio commercials he used to love.

Episode #2126: Close Encounters Of The Nerd Kind

May 24, 2016 · Duration: 1:19:41 · Play

Andrew had a close encounter with a listener and didn’t even know it. Luke remembers the first time he ever heard Smashing Pumpkins and how they weren’t as scary as he’d feared. Plus, why breakfast isn’t as important as the Quaker Oats Center for Excellence would have you believe, and the latest installment of “A Song of Ice and Spoilers.”